“In relationships, trust isn’t a promise to never hurt each other. It’s the risk that we will hurt each other and the confidence that, if we do, we will come together to heal”
Couple counselling is recommended to partners who are going through relationship challenges or want to improve and build better relationship with their partners.
Very often couples are coming to the therapy with the complain that they have “communication challenges”. It doesn’t matter what stage couples are in; beginning relationship and having first disagreement, deep in the relationship or going through separation; they all identify how hard to it is to talk to each other and feeling understood.
According to Gottman, there are four unhealthy communication patterns:
Listen to your partner while putting aside your own agenda of the discussion and summarize what your partner said; for example: “so what you are saying….. “
Infidelity is very difficult to define especially in this technology driven age. Partner could feel “cheated on” when another is having emotional connection with someone outside of their relationship, sexual romance, watching pornography, engaging in live web chats, sending and receiving nude pictures, the list can go on. The main factor of this hurtful experiences is loss of trust. To build the trust requires time and hard work as a team. Psychologists become mediators in difficult conversations between partners.
Being active and booking in the session with a psychologist
Intimacy in relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. For most couples the most intimate they feel when they are making love. It involves trust and risk of being vulnerable with each other. Sometimes couples are experiencing sex related issues.
Erectile dysfunction will cause penis to be unable to acquire or maintain satisfactory erection. It could be caused by physiological (neurological, hormonal, vascular, physical disease, pharmacological) or psychological reasons. When physiological causes are excluded, psychological reasons to be considered. The most common psychological aspects of dysfunction could be loss of feeling towards the partner, severe stress or fear of non-performance.
Low libido (low sexual desire) is diagnosed when sexual desire is diminished or absent. Low libido can only be identified when a man is unsatisfied and distress about it, as libido level is different person to person. Very common it is related to relationship issues, stress, depression, anxiety or lack of time.
Lack of sexual desire could be caused by hormonal disbalance, pregnancy, fatigue, lifestyle influences or boredom.
Inability to become aroused could be triggered by insufficient vaginal lubrication.
Lack of orgasm could be caused by lack of sexual desire, lack of knowledge or psychological factors such as anxiety, guilt, shame or past sexual traumas.
Painful intercourse could be a result of number of conditions such as endometriosis, poor lubrication, vaginitis, sexual transmitted disease. Vaginismus is a condition when women experience painful, involuntary spams of muscles which surround vaginal entrance. It could be due to fear of penetration being painful, sexual phobias or previous traumatic experiences.
Talking openly with the partner, experimenting with the options and being patient
Premarital counselling is a type of therapy that helps couples to prepare for marriage and life after weddings are over. Talking through about weaknesses, strengths and potential rituals as a family will help to prevent major issues later on. The most common topics for discussion are finances, values and believes, roles in the family, affection and sex, family planning – to have or not children, external family members such as parents in law. Premarital counselling is helping to understand your partner, set realistic expectations and plan future together.
Gottman deck cards – free to download on your phone from Play store on Android or Apple store on Ios.
One of the common topics in the relationship counselling is parenting difference. Mother and father are having different upbringing, experiences and expectations how they want their kids to be raised. Often parents notice “good and bad cop” dynamic in their parenting style; most of them are on extremes. If one is allowing everything, the other is allowing nothing. Psychologist can help to understand the differences and where they came from to improve collaboration between parents and help them become team members rather than competitors
create your parenting rules together and write them down.
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Individual and couple sessions last 50-60min.
Unfortunately, you can only claim from one or the other; i.e. either Medicare or Private health insurance.
It is highly recommended that you concentrate on each other and your relationship in the couples therapy. In most cases, it is very difficult to do so when children are around.
We are aiming to fit your appointment as soon as possible, however in most cases we cannot book you in on the same day or provide urgent support for the acute crisis. If you are in crisis please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636. Should you or anyone you know is in danger please call 000.
We’re here to answer any questions you have. Please get in touch.